Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category

For humour look at TrollChess on facebook and www.9gag.com. I last visited both about one year ago and have thus found a few things since, the first two are from TrollChess, the second two are from 9gag.

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To want fame is to prefer dying scorned than forgotten.

Emile Cioran

Hello my good friends. Please help avert a crisis of epic proportions. Assiduous as they were, my inescapably meticulous efforts to catalogue all my videos so neatly have been hit hard by a solitary remaining avi.

I cannot tell whether the video I took was at a chess tournament or a heavy metal concert I went to long, long ago. That might sound incredulous, however, the sound is lost and the action does not appear…all that can be seen is the audience, nothing more.

I once went to a tournament with a huge gathering which, upon seeing the Berlin Defence unleashed, went wild, thus I cannot tell which folder this video belongs to.

Please assist here, is it chess or heavy metal?

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The Bedfordshire county chess team may benefit from extra firepower next season after I was contacted by ‘Big Vern’, about playing on the bottom board. ‘Big Vern’ whose exploits and activities are sometimes the subject of a comic strip in Viz, has recently been spotted in the Ukraine, as is verified here.

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The ‘Vern’ plans to give his ‘shootahs’ a rest and lie-low for a bit, going incognito somewhere quiet like Kempston or Harrold, far away from the murky underworld he usually inhabits. ‘Big Vern’ apparently learnt the game whilst ‘goin’ grey in a chokey (British slang for prison)’ as he put it, and ‘might be available some Sundays’ I am informed.

Harrold: a murky underworld

Harrold: not a murky underworld

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A warm welcome to ‘Big Vern’.

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Emotionless

Another funny from TrollChess

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A drunken knight?

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I’m going back to the hallowed antiquity of spring 2008 in the home counties; it’s a typically quiet Sunday morning, with a cold, light breeze that carries the country air. You told the wife you’re ‘just poppin’ out ta fix the motor’ but you can’t fix it, and without an escape into the country, the emptiness of the afternoon ahead is suddenly overwhelming. Without your wheels you wander off to the ‘the local boozer’, get hammered and stagger home before midday. Did someone put this chess-song on the jukebox down ‘the local boozer’…it doesn’t matter as you’ve congratulated yourself on finding something to do already… .

Credit goes to Justin Horton for reminding me of the Half-Man Half-Biscuit track… .

 

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Searching for a new home, Luton Chess Club, whilst eagerly awaiting permission from Bedfordshire University to relocate there, have acquired a second option at a venue ‘just outside the town’ I was informed by e-mail. The Bedfordshire Chess Association, keen to know whether Luton Chess Club will participate in the forthcoming season or not has quickly rejected it, stating the following:

‘Dear Luton Chess Club Secretary, Mr I. Adjust,

Regarding your applications t0 relocate, pictures of the venue alone is insufficient. At the very least, we require a physical address and directions in order to assist visiting teams, and I might add, the proposed second location looks a bit further away than ‘just outside the town’ as you put it -we are not in agreement at all!

Note that travel to a venue is limited to vehicles belonging to team members and does not usually involve spacecraft from third party sources. We are most displeased with the effrontery of your proposal for an, albeit potential, second venue given how incredulously close to collapse the club is. Please reconsider with greater sensibility.

Mr. J. Doube,

Bedfordshire Chess Association.

The images submitted by the Luton Chess Club over its ‘just outside the town’ second option, can be found below.

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The first option

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The second option

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View from the first second option venue

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‘Just outside Luton’

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